Paranormals in the Digital Age

Happy Half-Off Chocolate Day!

In honor of this very special holiday and because I’ve recently become obsessed with Ghost Adventures, I put together this spooky cast of characters. Personally, I’m on the lookout for the digital unicorn: active enough on Instagram to let you figure out what’s going on with their lives (digital stalking is normal, ok!?) but not active enough to imply a need for constant validation. But I know it’s a ridiculous quest. Unicorns don’t exist.

Have you ever encountered any of these paranormal punks?


At this point, I think it is more shocking when I hear someone has never encountered a ghost. Tinder is practically infested with these pixel poltergeists.  One minute, you are having a great conversation. You might have even met up IRL but then out of nowhere, they vanish. Did they lose interest? Or maybe they fell down a well??


Zombies are less common than ghosts but you will know when you are in the presence of one. Whatever connection you had fueled their return to the land of the living dead and now they haunt you with likes. They’re not big on communication, probably due to you know, being zombies.



The Siren is a saucy little minx. They know their angles and how to work a ring light and you bet they’ve already used that brand new Snapchat filter to it’s fullest potential. They know you follow their every move but are careful to keep you at arm’s length, lest you discover they don’t actually have golden butterflies constantly circling their photoshopped brows.


For some reason, I seem to attract vampires. They must know I have a rare blood type… These cyber creepies haunt the night, blowing up your phone with messages only to disappear when the sun comes up. You’ll know you’ve been visited by a vampire if you awaken next to your phone, battery completely drained. The horror!

I hope you’re stocked up on sage because it’s time to get exorcising.

Happy haunting!

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