I have mixed feelings about “ghosting”, the act of not responding to someone’s messages, texts, calls, voicemails, etc. and essentially turning into a ghost. I usually hear the term associated with people met online, which is understandable.

You’re feeling a bit lonely, maybe a tad adventurous but all in all ready to foray into the online dating scene. You swipe right on someone you find attractive with a somewhat interesting profile and commence a few back-and-forth messages. Once you’ve learned a bit more about this complete stranger you realize you really aren’t that interested, now what? On one hand, you can be up front about your feelings (or lack thereof) and risk that this person could turn into a complete psycho and call you a bunch of horrible names (it happens, check out @byeFelipe on Instagram…). Or you can just disappear.

I have tried ghosting someone before but after a few days I started to feel bad. Other than showing an initial interest in possibly meeting this person IRL, I mean I literally said, “Haha, possibly” after he suggested, “Perhaps a first date, lol” I never really showed any intention of meeting this person. I flaked on a phone call and waited a LONG time before responding to his texts (super mature, I know…) but he still didn’t take the hint. Finally, after he tried asking me out with more definitive plans I told him I just wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment and apologized for leading him on. He said he understood and was super nice about it.

Then he suggested meeting in person again…

Initiate: Ghost Sequence.